Dream #10: "Shower"

Classification: Type II
Age: Twenty-four years old.

I appear in the character of a government agent. I have a very important purpose to fulfill, some secret function of the bureau for whom I work, but this function is a mystery. I am en route to a certain location whereat I shall fulfill this function (“again” is implied). Along the way it is expedient for me to take respite at a certain way station, as it is ideally situated along the path of my journey. This way station is my home town, the town of my birthplace and upbringing.

My first sister, in the character of a soldier, has been assigned to me as my escort or protective detail. We travel for a great duration in utmost silence, except for the rather noisy engine of the military vehicle (a type of jeep) in which we sit. As it has no air conditioning, we roll the windows down (by hand) to feel the rush of hot air, for this is just slightly more bearable than the suffocating heat without the windows down.

At this point, I am struck by the realization that my sister, my supposed protector, has no comprehension of my purpose, or my importance to the government that she serves; that I actually am protecting not just her but the entire system of government for this country.

We now arrive at the military base at which I will stay the night. We are greeted by the base commander. Physically, he is a tall, well-built, clean shaven (head as well as facial hair), Caucasian man, a bit on the heavy side. He is dressed immaculately in uniform fitting his station. His demeanor, however, is sharply distinguished from his appearance, and comes across as almost Bacchian; a sinister sense of joviality and hedonism masking pure savagery.

We discover from the commander that the base is deserted at present due to “the holiday.” I express that, should it be any inconvenience for me to stay on the base, I could spend the night at my parents’ house for, “They live just down the street.” The following conversation ensues:

Commander: “Do they really? Well now. Did you actually grow up in these parts?”

Me: (with a sense of being affronted) “Absolutely not. They have just recently moved here. I don’t know why. I suppose they enjoy the ocean.”

Commander: (with a mocking smile) “Well I suppose the area does suit some people.”

Me: (in a threatening tone) “Sir, I have important business to attend to. If you would show us in.”

At which point I lift my briefcase, showing him the symbol on the front, a symbol unique to my station, as a reminder of my rank and importance. He masks his growing contempt for me, and cordially invites us to follow him.

I now express a feeling that I realize has been slowly growing upon me since the beginning of the journey: that I need to take a shower. The feeling has in fact become so pressing that I can hardly think of anything else, and although I do not feel any sense of panic or urgency, yet I do feel a sense of obsession or conviction.

I say a brief “good night” to my sister, who remains mute, and then walk to the men’s barracks, where I find a towel and step into the shower.

Interpretation

This dream is actually far more complex than it may at first seem. Firstly, for reasons that I do not wish to divulge, the characterization of the defeated or repressed Anima as my sister in combination with that character's muteness is of particular interest to me. At times silence can be an expression that surpasses any statement words could offer.

Secondly, the character of the base commander as a savage man masked behind a persona of uprightness or a façade of belonging to society, is obviously a representation of the "self" that I personally choose to act as the bridge between me and the world around me. The commander is also specifically represented as a tyrant over the Anima, not just her superior.

The part that I play in this dream is then the part of my true self, the individual who is in control of the two subordinate selves, and whose purpose is beyond their ken (the mystery). In order for me to complete this purpose, I must perform the ritual of passing through the birthplace. I must be born again, born anew.

When I arrive at the birthplace, I am reminded of what I once was, and it disgusts me. I must cleanse myself of all that I have been in order that I can become something new.